my two vices

i have really been thinking a lot about my last post. about counting the cost of following jesus. so last night i made a list of everything i don't want to give up. because i think if i am going to choose jesus, i want to do it with my eyes wide open. i don't want to hold anything back. i think i have been at that place before in my life, but probably not for very long. i don't really know what happened. anyways back to the list. i made this list, and then this morning i tried to put all these things that i don't want to give up (things like sleep and chocolate) into different categories, so i could try and see some themes. well, i only had two categories that an entire page of things fell into. here they are: comfort/pleasure and pride. these are the two broad themes of sin in my life that i don't want to let go of. i am such a hedonist. i love to feel good. this is the hardest of the two for me. but maybe even this is an extension of pride. what makes me think i deserve to always have pleasure, or even ever have pleasure, when there are many people in this world who don't.