stress

so i was reminded today the importance of dealing with stress in a healthy way. today wes and i had a pretty big fight. and we weren't really fighting about what we were fighting about. we were fighting because of stress. this is something we are slowly learning how to deal with. it has taken us 7 years to realize this is an issue for us, but we are finally here. most of the time it's not too bad, but then we forget to take care, and bam! there it is, blowing up in our faces. luckily, now we know what is really going on, and we can address the heart of the matter, and hopefully do some good, not just bandaid it.

a looong time

i honestly can't believe how fast time has gone in these last few weeks. i guess i have been pretty busy, although i can't really remember with what. i did get to see a friend that i grew up with. it was very nice to see her. it's a little weird now, though, as i think it will take a little getting used to the fact that we are both adults. but there is good stuff there, and always has been, so i think it is worth the effort.

i think it's hard for me to see people i used to know. i don't really like them seeing how much weight i have gained since they knew me. and i am sure that none of them judge me for it, but i do, and i put that on them. for whatever reason, i think it matters more to me what she thinks then almost anyone else. and so it is hard for me to just be myself. because i don't really feel comfortable with myself around her yet. i am sure the more i see her the better it will get, but it was hard.

another one of my friends made an effort-a big effort-to change some hard things last week. it made me feel very proud of her. i of all people know how hard it can be to motivate one's self to change. it never feels worth it. and it is hard to get perspective on things. but she did, and i think it's great.

speaking of change...wes and i got up early this morning to go for a walk! i never get up early to do anything. i was pretty happy with myself. until i stepped outside and felt the bitter cold. we didn't go very far or long. but at least we tried. and maybe tomorrow will be better.

well, it's late and i should sleep. if wes would ever get home from his meeting. later, all.

back to work

so i am back to work. my first two days have been filled with mind-numbing computer work. our computer has a virus or something and so it takes like a week to open a single word doc, so i was resaving all these documents so we can reformat our computer. other than the tedium, which actually wasn't soooo bad, it's been good to be back. although i love to laze around and do whatever i feel like, i think it's good for me to have a routine. i think i function better as a human. but it sure is nice to know that i have that break coming every year.

wes and i are in charge of our small group tomorrow night. we have about an hour to fill with something. i think we are going to do a 2 day marriage retreat in one hour. we will have mini meals and mini talks. i think it will be more fun than anything else. but at least it's creative and won't be boring.

i am really missing hawaii these last few days. my tan is fading, at least the little tan i had. i just miss the water and the sun, i miss the time wes and i could just spend together too. he is so busy with school. every night he does at least 2 hours of homework. but it's probably more like 3-5. it's ridiculous. but i am proud of how much he does, and how well he does it. he will be a great teacher.

well i better go, he wants me to help him do some work. later all.

soul mates

here's a big shout out to donloree and sallie who commented on my last blog...it's great.

in other news...i have a very sore throat. it's actually pretty frustrating to me that i haven't been sick all winter, and then the day before i am set to go back to work-which i am excited about mind you-i start getting sick. what are the chances?

i had a great day today, in spite of the sore throat. i went to lunch with a friend. she humored me while i made her answer 12 questions about our friendship. things like have you ever been mad at me, if you could give me any gift what would it be? things like that. i know not everone likes that sort of thing, but i love it. i don't know if she loved it, but i don't think she minded. i like those types of questions because it gives people a chance to say and express things they may never otherwise. after lunch we just walked around the mall for a while, saw some very cute puppies and talked. here is a question that kind of came up: do you believe in soul mates? i do. but i don't think i only have one soul mate. i think there will be a few very special people who come into my life who can see to the heart of who i am and understand me. people that at the core of who they are are the same as who i am. people who help me complete my puzzle. any ways, what do you think, sound out and tell me!