why is it that i found myself exhausted at 8 pm today, ready to go to bed. and now it's after 12 and i still can't sleep? i find this highly annoying. i think it has to do with the heat. and my brain won't turn off. i think about the dumbest things like whether i can hear wes moving, or if i can smell rain coming, or if i should call a friend tomorrow. like i won't have time tomorrow to decide if i should call her. as if it's even a decision that merits much thought at all. it's like my brain is a 6 year old trying to come up with excuses as to why it should still be allowed up.
do you ever miss who someone used to be? and the relationship you used to have? i do. with a few older friends. and it makes it so hard for me to move on and be friends with them now, whoever they are now. because i want what used to be. but i don't want to live in the past. i want to love who people are right now. i want to allow the people close to me room to grow and become. i want to grow and become. oh but this is hard. and oh how i hate hard things. but i feel like jesus is so challenging me in this. hard is not worse, it's just hard. but i have a tough time believing this in my heart. anyways, there goes my brain again, trying to find a reason to stay up. good night
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- hazellarae
- i'm just a girl on a journey, sometimes it's an adventure, sometimes it's not, but it is always mine
1 comment:
I often think about how things used to be. Brian Adams sings, "Those were the best days of my life!" And, that song is one of my favorites. But, what I realize is that pining for the past, only robs from the present... and the future! No, I believe today is an amazing day! And, that the best days are yet to come.
Our friends are still the same people we loved way back when, just as we are still the same people; it's just tastes that change, and our eyes become open just a little more, as we gaze through the beer bottle of life.
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